Validating My Existence



When I first became pastor of Liberty Baptist Church I was full of vision and excitement! I knew that God had brought me to this town to show the rest of them how to get it done. I was to be the beacon of fundamental doctrine and the citadel for Bible purity.  I knew that because of my high standards and my superior style of ministry that God had placed me in this town to set everyone straight. Was I ever in for a rude awakening!

We have seen consistent progress and steady growth over the past seven years but I am sure God has used this church to grow me more than I have helped anyone to grow. I use to wonder why God would place me in a town with churches of like faith that had more vibrant ministries and were by sheer numbers able to reach more folks than our church could. I would reason that it was because I had not compromised on certain issues. With this reasoning, I could validate externally my reason for existence. Then the question would rise again and I would latch on to some other external difference and that made me feel superior to the rest. Once again I lulled myself back into a self congratulatory stupor. I was desperately looking for a valid reason to exist and was hoping desperately that I could hold on to my delusions of superior ministry methods. Sadly, I felt I was only needed if I was better than all the rest.

As time passed and the word of God began to work in me, I slowly awoke to this pride of heart. I realized that everyone else does not have to be wrong in order for me to be in the will of God. God did not place me here to set others straight but to reach those that he has for me to reach. By no means am I claiming to have conquered the green eyed monster of jealousy or that I never allow myself to become envious and proud. Yet, God has given me the peace of knowing that He has called me to this place, for this time, to do his work. There never was a need for me to validate my existence for he had already done that when he called me.

There are few things that have changed in my doctrinal statement but much has changed in my heart. I do not suggest that all who claim Christ are of equal standing in doctrinal purity. I am not arguing that we should never address the heresies of our day. I am saying that I know God brought me here for a purpose. God may use a man wherever he chooses and whenever he chooses. My fear was not just youthful insecurity but it was primarily a lack of faith in God! So wherever you find yourself laboring today, rest assured that God has a purpose for your placement.

I thank God that he is patient with me and gives me the grace to do his work.

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