Resentful of Criticism

What I am about to share with you, the folks who know me best know this is the case all too well, and they have patiently endured this character flaw of mine for many years. I am quick to get my feelings hurt, or if  said in a less effacing way, I am easily wounded. Now this is, I can assure you, a great liability in the role of pastor. The words of a sharp tongued saint cut deep. The words of a well meaning counselor sting for a long time. The constructive criticism from my wife smolders in my soul for days and the embers of those remarks need little fanning to bring them to a roaring blaze. Now by God’s grace I am learning to set these remarks in their proper place and take the instruction that I need for them. Not all criticism demands a response, and not all criticism needs to be ignored, but all should be handled with a humble heart in the light of scripture. Let me say that if you have a critique or a suggestion, please do not take this as call for you to hold your peace. I welcome your comments and even your criticism because, “faithful are the wounds of a friend”. When I examine this flaw I am aware that it is rooted in my pride. O, how I want to be “all things to all men” I want favor with those I server and those I love and those with whom I labor. This pride causes me to think too highly of myself, and so a criticism or even helpful suggestions become the pin that burst my proverbial bubble.  Seeking to please people has hindered my ability to lead and at times it has completely left my family and my church without a leader.  For this I must apologize and seek the forgiveness of those whom I have failed to lead. For fear of being un-liked I have failed far too often to be faithful to my call and other times I have responded sinfully in the face of the criticism.    

Now let us turn to the fading favor of the American church at large. For as long as America has been a nation and even from the time of the Colonies the Church/Christianity has played an integral part in shaping our nation. Our laws where shaped by the Judeo-Christian Ethic. Our structure of government recognizes the need of self government under God’s laws. The statesmen of our nation have time and again reminded us of the need of a moral God fearing people. The Churches that dotted the landscape where respected and the people that attended those churches where the aspiration of all who did not. Respect was given to the “clergy” and there was a general understanding that Church was a blessing to the people of America. The tax laws of our land have long recognized that the community was blessed by the Churches in greater ways than just dollars and cents. This level of respect is quickly fading and will soon be nothing more than faint memory. Christians are on the out. We are looked at with suspicion and considered to be the enemy of freedom. This transformation of the American sentiment has run parallel to the sexual revolution of the last thirty years. Marriage is being redefined before our very eyes. The freedom of religion is losing ground to the freedom of sexual expression. In the next twenty years the course of country will lead us to a place where men will revile us and hate us and say all manner of evil against us falsely and dare I say that some of it may be said truly.  

The answer to this world today is still the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The concern I have is that the Church has her feelings hurt. We are pouting in the corner because this world doesn’t like us or we are raging at the sinners because “that sort of thing would not happen in my day”. We have become resentful of those who have taken the respect we once enjoyed and have given it to those who mock the name of Christ and all that is holy. We gather for a service week after week to lick our wounds and console ourselves over the losses we have experienced. We hold on more tightly to “the way we always did things” because we find great comfort in the familiar. Some of our pulpits are filled with hateful language and are bereft of the gospel. The Church in America has enjoyed cultural favor for many generations and the rug is being yanked out from under us. The Lord has never promised us cultural favor but we have enjoyed this favor so long that we are grieving its loss as if it was our birthright.  How we respond to this will determine not our effectiveness but our faithfulness. Will we hear the critics with patience and compare their words with scripture and take action accordingly or will we continue to say that we have always been right and we need no growth and are above the criticism?  I am not speaking of compromise but of humility in the face of criticism.  We are not promised culture favor but we are promised God’s presence in every tribulation. We are not promised tax exemption but we are promised God will supply our needs. Let us stop the pity party and get up and make a difference in this world. When criticism comes we have a choice to make.  We can just say the same things louder, longer and more often; we can rage against the critic; we can capitulate to the culture, or we can humble ourselves and bring our response in line with scripture. When we have tribulation the scriptural response is “be of good Cheer!”

So pray for me as I learn to receive criticism and the loss of favor, in a Christ like way, so that I can be the under-shepherd my church and family needs and pray that the Church will learn handle its loss of favor in a Christ like way that she will be a light shining in the darkness not a lamp under a bushel.